HVAKR
Press Release (Parody)
May 5, 2026
SAN DIEGO, California— HVAKR (privately held) today submitted a non-binding proposal to acquire 100% of Autodesk, Inc. (NASDAQ: ADSK) at $0.99 per share in cash and stock. The offer represents an approximately 99.7% discount to Autodesk's recent unaffected trading price, which HVAKR characterizes as a thoughtful opening position in what it expects to be a constructive negotiation. HVAKR has built a 0.000000001% economic stake in Autodesk through two seats of Revit purchased reluctantly in 2022 and one lapsed Fusion 360 trial. HVAKR intends to file a Schedule 13D and HSR notification promptly upon learning what those are.
The proposed offer is $0.99 per share, comprising 50% cash and 50% HVAKR common stock, with full shareholder election rights as to consideration type and pro-rata allocation. Aggregate undiluted equity value is approximately $213 million, based on Autodesk's most recently disclosed undiluted share count, representing an approximately 99.7% discount to the unaffected trading price and an approximately 99.6% discount to the 90-day VWAP. The transaction is conditioned on customary closing conditions. The cash consideration is expected to be funded from a combination of (i) approximately $1,400 in cash, two IKEA gift cards, and a mostly full printer toner cartridge on HVAKR's balance sheet and (ii) third-party acquisition financing, in respect of which HVAKR is confident it will eventually identify a counterparty.
HVAKR has identified approximately $3.1 billion of annualized cost reductions, to be realized within twelve months of closing. Estimated synergies exceed the purchase price by approximately fifteen times, which HVAKR believes is a strong indicator of value creation:
HVAKR has built, with four people and a browser, a cloud-native platform for mechanical design. Autodesk has built, with substantially more than four people, a portfolio of well-regarded products. HVAKR believes the combination will be transformative for both organizations and for HVAKR's three shareholders.
HVAKR's process to date has consisted of (i) reading Autodesk's most recent 10-K, (ii) discussing the matter at a coffee shop in San Diego, and (iii) preparing this press release. HVAKR is prepared to enter into immediate discussions with Autodesk's Board, Autodesk's financial advisors, or any Autodesk employee with apparent authority to negotiate, on a Tuesday or Thursday afternoon.
Post-close, AutoCAD will remain available in perpetuity and be repackaged as a heritage product. Revit MEP's load calculation workaround ecosystem will be deprecated and replaced with HVAKR over a 14-month migration period. Autodesk Forma, BIM 360, BIM Collaborate, BIM Collaborate Pro, Build, Takeoff, Docs, Forma Build, Forma Takeoff, Forma Data Management, and Forma Design Collaboration will be consolidated into a single product called "Files." Files will have folders. Fusion will be retained and permitted to keep its existing roadmap. Autodesk University will continue, with the keynote capped at 35 minutes and a working microphone.
Mr. Andrew Krippner, Chief Executive Officer of HVAKR, will serve as Chief Executive Officer of the combined company effective at close. Mr. Krippner receives no salary, no cash bonuses, and no golden parachute. He is currently compensated in ASHRAE 62.1 compliance and the satisfaction of a clean kanban board, and expects to continue to be so compensated.
The full proposal letter and accompanying materials are available at inquiries@hvakr.com.
Sincerely,
Andrew Krippner
Chief Executive Officer, HVAKR
This press release contains mock forward-looking statements, including statements regarding HVAKR's intent to acquire Autodesk, Inc. for approximately $213 million, HVAKR's ability to finance the acquisition, the projected synergies of the combined company, and the operating performance of a software company HVAKR has not yet been invited to acquire. Forward-looking statements are subject to numerous risks and uncertainties, including but not limited to: that Autodesk's Board may decline this offer; that Autodesk's Board may laugh at this offer; that Autodesk's Board may not respond to this offer; that Autodesk's Board may not be aware that this offer exists; that HVAKR's balance sheet may prove insufficient relative to the $213 million purchase price by approximately $213 million; that acquisition financing may not, in fact, be available from any source on any terms; and that Mr. Krippner has not yet mentioned this proposal to his wife. Actual results may differ materially, particularly because no actual transaction is being proposed.
HVAKR is the cloud-native HVAC design platform for mechanical engineering teams. HVAKR replaces the legacy stack of load calculation, equipment selection, and duct design tools used across the MEP industry with one browser-based product, built to ASHRAE 62.1 and ANSI/ASHRAE/ACCA 183. Headquartered in San Diego, California.
This page is a work of satire. It is not a real offer, tender, solicitation, or any other actual or proposed transaction. HVAKR has not made and is not making any offer to acquire Autodesk, Inc., its securities, or any other entity. No financing has been arranged, no counsel has been engaged, no board approval has been sought or received, and no Schedule 13D, HSR filing, tender offer statement, proxy solicitation, registration statement, or other regulatory submission has been or will be made in connection with the contents of this page. Autodesk, AutoCAD, Revit, Revit MEP, Fusion, Fusion 360, BIM 360, BIM Collaborate, BIM Collaborate Pro, Autodesk Construction Cloud, Autodesk Forma, Autodesk Build, Autodesk Takeoff, Autodesk Docs, Forma Build, Forma Takeoff, Forma Data Management, Forma Design Collaboration, and Autodesk University are trademarks or product names of Autodesk, Inc., which is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or otherwise connected to HVAKR. References to Autodesk and its products are made for purposes of commentary, criticism, and parody only. All offer terms, discounts, share counts, financing statements, synergy estimates, and executive statements are fictional and should not be relied upon for any purpose. Nothing on this page constitutes investment advice or an offer to buy or sell any security.